And the Oscar Goes To...

I received a “Save the Date” email this week from friends G&M for their annual Oscar Par-TAY. There are only two things I remember from last year’s party: 1) I spilled red wine all over their fuzzy, white living room rug, (which makes this year’s invite all the more unexpected); and 2) I finished dead last in the Oscar pool.  This year I’m determined to do better on both counts. I will imbibe nothing but Krystal the entire evening and I will WIN the pool!

I headed right over to ABC.com for the Official Nominee List. Hmm…the good news is my selections will be untainted by actual, first-hand, familiarity with any of the films. The bad news is, I have never even heard of half the titles up for Best Picture, let alone more niche categories like Best Actor in a Leading Role.

A film called “Amour” tops the Best Picture list, (thanks to alphabetical order), but, I kid you not, the producers are listed as TBD. That’s a pretty frickin’ obscure movie, when even the producers don’t know about it.

“Argo” comes next. Looks good, and based on a true story, which Oscar generally likes. ABC.com lists George Clooney as one of the producers. I’m embarrassed to admit, if he’d starred in it, I probably would have seen the darn thing. My friend J told me it won the Producer's Guild Award for Best Picture, but I was immediately dismissive. An un-televised award? How determinative could that be? I asked him if it had won the Golden Globe. J replied, "Listen up, amateur, 'cause I'm only going to explain his once--the Golden Globes signify nothing, except the opinion of a bunch of Hollywood foreign press. That population has, like, zero overlap with the voting members of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. The Producer's Guild? The Screen Actors Guild? Those organizations contain actual Academy members." Good to know.

“Beasts of the Southern Wild.” No clue.

“Django Unchained.” I recognize this as Quentin Tarantino’s latest flick. I loved “Reservoir Dogs.” I loved “Pulp Fiction.” I hit a wall somewhere around “Kill Bill Vol. 2.” I may cave when it hits Netflix or Video on Demand.

Speaking of loves, I loves me some Hugh Jackman. Again, I’m a little embarrassed to admit, but had this year’s Jackman vehicle been an X-Men installment, I could probably quote dialogue. But I have no burning desire to take in another version of “Les Miserables.”  I’m sure it’s awesome, in a way that only a musical based on a mid-nineteenth century French novel about politics, morality and justice can be.

“Life of Pi,” had a great trailer. If this movie hits VOD, I will put it to the Ambien challenge.

“Lincoln” appears in several categories, and I’m proud to say I have heard of both the man and the movie. In fact, Hubs and I almost saw this film. We opted for “Skyfall” instead. I agree with another blogger who opined that the latest James Bond offering seemed more violent and less sexy than prior Bond films, but I’m sure it was way sexier than “Lincoln.”

Next comes, “Silver Linings Playbook,” starring some dude named Bradley Cooper. I sat through “The Hangover,” based solely on Bradley’s allure, so you’d think I could carve out two hours and two minutes to take in an Oscar-nominated film featuring People Magazine’s 2011 “Sexiest Man Alive.” No luck so far. Have you seen it? Does the film show me a new side of Brad, (by which I mean shirtless, or pants-less)?  

Last, but not least, “Zero Dark Thirty” earned a Best Picture nomination. I thought for a moment I’d seen this one, but then I realized I was confusing the film with a photo of President Obama, Secretary of State Clinton and a bunch of security team members gathered in a White House situation room, watching the Bin Laden mission in real-time, looking like I look when viewing a really intense episode of “General Hospital.” Interestingly, Director Kathryn Bigelow did not receive a Best Director nomination, maybe because she won just last year for the amazing, (so I hear), film “The Hurt Locker.” Her ex-husband, James Cameron, also vied for the Best Director honor last year, for the movie “Avatar.” I couldn’t be bothered to see either film, but I would have paid good money to witness the first post-party exchange between those two.

Help me nail at least one category! Tell me your picks…your opinions. Trust me, you know far more than I.